I no longer need that constant proof but if I falter, I look at all that God has made, the intricacy of it all and that is enough proof for me.

I decided to re-post one of the first posts from the original site as the ‘First Post’ of the new site. I’ve changed some since then but the affirmation is still very important to me and so is the confession that came with it. If for no other reason to prove to myself that people (me)can change for the better, even though I haven’t always been sure that I could.)

First Affirmation

As I’ve explained, I have had this project percolating for quite some time but couldn’t quite bring it to fruition. I’ve prayed a lot about this and although I’ve been given snippets here and there, I’ve been left kind of in the dark as to how to actually implement it all.

So, the other day I was praying for a start, something to get me in the groove, so to speak. A first post that would do a little bit more than just explain what I felt I needed to do but maybe delve into the why and maybe actually start to do what it is I feel called to do. Well, God doesn’t always give you exactly what you ask for, sometimes he gives you what you need. (This is beginning to sound like a Rolling Stones song) But in the end, it usually works out for the better.

Although I didn’t know it, what I needed most was to know I was headed in the right direction. What I needed was to know that I hadn’t misunderstood what I was being called to do. And that’s what God gave me.

Back when I was much younger and quite a bit more foolish, I met someone who never did anything to me that could even remotely be percieved as negative or hurtful. I wish I could say the same about the way I treated her. I won’t get in to particulars, there’s no need but suffice it to say that she was very hurt and angry and she had every right to be. As time has gone on and as so often happens, I remembered the hurt I had caused her and wished that I could make it better or atleast find a suitable way to apologise for my foolishness.

Years have passed.

You know, FaceBook gets a lot of bad press but I have really grown to like being part of what I see as a gathering or a spider’s web of connections. The great thing about FaceBook is that it has become popular and that really is what has made it so useful. The more people who frequent this site, the better it works.

One of the best parts, to me anyways, is that I’ve been able to reconnect with a number of people that I’ve lost touch with. Most often losing touch with somebody has nothing to do with anger or animosity, it just happens that as life goes on, our interests shift and we get busy with this or that. All of a sudden so much time has gone by, that we either don’t know how to contact old friends or we feel strange about contacting them because we’ve let so much time pass.

There are times though, when it is about anger and animosity or the fear of rejection because we’ve caused anger and animosity. That’s when FaceBook is really at its best because you can send a “Friend Request” to them, kind of like a test to see if they still hold a grudge. They can choose to accept the outstretched hand or they can just ignore it all together. It can make asking for forgiveness much easier.

I know it seems that I’ve digressed to the point of distraction but I’m about to bring it all back together, I promise.

The other day someone pops into my head and I decide to see if she is on FaceBook. I’m fairly sure she doesn’t want to hear from me but I’m curious as to how she’s doing. Sure enough, there’s her name. I searched for her only really to see if I could tell if she was doing okay but as soon as I saw her on there, I knew I was going to send a friend request. I knew she would ignore it but I knew I had to anyways.

Please keep in mind that I am a happily married man who has no interest in extramarital activities. I used to be quite the fool but I’ve matured a little since then and my marital priorities are solid.

Okay, I am going long here but I’ll try to reel all of this in soon.

I send the friend request and expect nothing short of a searing retort that leaves me singed and bloody. SURPRISE, she accepts my friend request. I have to admit, I was still a little worried, I still wasn’t sure. So, I sent a message that said that I was kind of surprised that she accepted my request and she wrote back and said that she tried not to hold onto grudges. I was amazed. And thankful.

Over the course of the last week or so, we have chatted back and forth about a lot of things and in the course of those conversations, she was kind enough to share her faith beliefs with me and to listen to mine. It seems that, what she calls her epiphany, is very close to what this site is all about. It seems that as she spent more and more time out in nature, it became apparent to her that this great big world was far too intricate to have come about by chance.

So, I ask God to please give me a way to get into the groove of this great idea he’s given me, this answer to my prayers about my calling and what he gives me is forgiveness from a past act that caused a lot of pain to someone I cared deeply for. Not His forgiveness, which I’m sure I received long ago, but the forgiveness of the person I hurt. Okay, I’ll take that. Happily.

More importantly though, He also gave me a rock solid affirmation, I am headed in the right direction.

So I ask you, look around you, look closely at how this big old world is put together. Study Science and see how many little cogs have had to fit together to make this all work as well as it does. Notice that the free will that God has given to man has cost God’s creation much because of man’s lack of ability to see the balance of all of this. But also understand that no matter how people explain away the miracles, there’s no way to truly explain how a mere accident, the chance happening of this bit of pond scum reacting to this bit of pond scum, could lead to all this intricacy.